A few weeks back, I re-learnt an important lesson we were taught as children- it is never too late to apologize for a mistake and make it up with someone you have hurt.
I had taken Ilisa down for a walk around midnight as she was in a cranky mood. She refused to let me carry her and insisted on walking across the parking lot by herself. Obviously, I was walking next to her to ensure her safety. I noticed a car coming along and we both were moving to the side. The car driver slowed down on noticing us, but then honked out of the blue. Maybe it was the shrillness of the horn at night, or perhaps just exhaustion of putting up with Ilisa's crankiness that day, I lost my cool and screamed at the guy for honking! Things quickly went downhill from there, and ended with abuses being hurled and a near fist fight. I went home convinced (as usual) that I was right, he was wrong and the whole world sucks.
The incident left a bad taste and almost ruined the weekend. Instead of letting things be or sitting back and analyzing what went wrong the next day, I was thinking about worse expletives I should have used! But fortunately for me, another night of sleep cleaned up the wiring mess in my head and I could get down to understanding the other person.
Perhaps, the guy had sounded the horn as a precautionary measure to ensure that someone is paying attention to a 20 month old seeming roaming around the parking lot by herself. Even though I was walking next to her, it was possible that he saw her before me as there was a pillar in the way. A calmer mind was able to realize that his face initially showed concern (and not anger) till things turned bad. And Eureka, the moment of truth- I had made a mistake and screwed up the weekend for him and me :(.
Now that I was convinced I was at fault, I wrote an apology note and placed it under his car wiper (I didn't know his name or flat, so I just searched for his car in the parking lot). I felt much better just knowing that I had at least let him know that I have realized my mistake. And the world was beautiful all over again in the evening, when he called up and apologized as well for perhaps over reacting! No bitter feelings, no frustrations swept under the carpet- it was all over! And all it required was a genuine apology from me.
-Phani
I had taken Ilisa down for a walk around midnight as she was in a cranky mood. She refused to let me carry her and insisted on walking across the parking lot by herself. Obviously, I was walking next to her to ensure her safety. I noticed a car coming along and we both were moving to the side. The car driver slowed down on noticing us, but then honked out of the blue. Maybe it was the shrillness of the horn at night, or perhaps just exhaustion of putting up with Ilisa's crankiness that day, I lost my cool and screamed at the guy for honking! Things quickly went downhill from there, and ended with abuses being hurled and a near fist fight. I went home convinced (as usual) that I was right, he was wrong and the whole world sucks.
The incident left a bad taste and almost ruined the weekend. Instead of letting things be or sitting back and analyzing what went wrong the next day, I was thinking about worse expletives I should have used! But fortunately for me, another night of sleep cleaned up the wiring mess in my head and I could get down to understanding the other person.
Perhaps, the guy had sounded the horn as a precautionary measure to ensure that someone is paying attention to a 20 month old seeming roaming around the parking lot by herself. Even though I was walking next to her, it was possible that he saw her before me as there was a pillar in the way. A calmer mind was able to realize that his face initially showed concern (and not anger) till things turned bad. And Eureka, the moment of truth- I had made a mistake and screwed up the weekend for him and me :(.
Now that I was convinced I was at fault, I wrote an apology note and placed it under his car wiper (I didn't know his name or flat, so I just searched for his car in the parking lot). I felt much better just knowing that I had at least let him know that I have realized my mistake. And the world was beautiful all over again in the evening, when he called up and apologized as well for perhaps over reacting! No bitter feelings, no frustrations swept under the carpet- it was all over! And all it required was a genuine apology from me.
-Phani
No comments:
Post a Comment